Wednesday, December 1, 2010

To Be a Mom

This was written 10 months ago. I am at a different phase of motherhood right now, but I wanted to post this because it is real. I am amazed at how quickly I have forgotten these overwhelming days...

Was I crazy when I decided that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? Did I really think this would be easier than going back to work at the Hospital? Okay, maybe its not any easier than working AND being a mom, but I don't think that I had any idea what life would be like with four kids when I happily decided to stay home over five years ago. It is the most challenging, difficult, stressful job I can imagine ever having.

Have you ever heard that mom overture song on youtube? The one where she takes everything a mother says in 24 hours and condenses it down to 2 minutes and 55 seconds?

I found it incredibly funny.  
The only not so funny thing is that I feel like that's finally me, only all day long.
I thought that the third child was the whammo for me. Well that was nothing, having baby number four really threw me for a huge loop. I don't feel like I've come full circle yet on that loop either. 

How does anybody do it? How does anybody be Mom to more than four kids as well as housekeeper and wife? By the time I get all the laundry done, the grocery list made, dinner on the table, homework finished, baths over with, and the house looking presentable, its time to get the kids into bed. And bed time is one big task. I forgot to mention that in between all the house and mom stuff that I have to be a wife too! Sometimes I feel really sorry for my husband. When our kids are all grown and gone, I will look at him and say "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Some year I am going to have to re-learn how to enjoy an entire evening with just the two of us.

In the mean time, I am re-learning how to be Mom. Today, I was able to hold my oldest child for a little while; that loving was long overdue. A few days ago, I gave my daughter a compliment on her baking skills to which she just beamed; that one on one kind of bonding session happens too infrequently.  This week I vow to not lose my patience with my toddlers demands; he is different from my other children but just as lovable.  
My baby gets my attention and love every single day. He also makes me smile and laugh every single day. It is so easy to love him. I need to apply that easy love to my others who know how to whine and disobey, because I do love them just as much. And next time I am tempted to say that, "Mom is on vacation," I'll remember that my vacation days do not entail getting as much done at home before I have to go back to the office. 

Because really, even if being Mom is the most challenging thing I've ever done, its also the most rewarding! There is nothing quite like hearing my kids calling me "Mom". Or seeing my baby take his first steps. Or watching my oldest child excel in school. Or feeling those pudgy little arms, sticky though they may be, wrap around my neck. Or hearing "I love you too". Or watching the delight on their face when they accomplish something I've taught them. 
I am so very blessed, so blessed to have this family, and so fortunate that I can be 'Mom'.

Next time I'm feeling like I'm going crazy I suppose I should take a minute to remember all these rewards and 'perks' to this job. It will probably already be tomorrow afternoon (aka nap time) that I have to take a breather. Sigh. But for now though, I am going to go kiss the tops of all their little heads and look at their sweet, sleeping faces, and go to bed with this smile on my face.


  1. at times, motherhood can seem like such a thankless job. but on the other hand, it's one of the most rewarding jobs I've ever known.

  2. Baby #5 threw me over. I remember at that time my m-i-l said that in time, something has to give, just don't let it be your sanity. I vowed not to cave in on my house, organization, control, etc. Well, I have and you know what? Who cares? I sure don't! As long as I'm surviving it's all that matters and this too shall pass!