Hangin' with Daddy

I feel lucky.

I have had so much help this summer.

Friends and family have cleaned my home, brought dinner over, and even taken all my kids for five days.

And I have Dean...who took a week off of work after we brought the twins home.

Oh, he worked!  He changed more diapers than he probably ever thought possible.  He learned how to make a bottle and feed a baby.  He burped and swaddled and bounced and rocked.  And pretty often, 2 am would mean I was in the chair nursing one baby while he sat up in bed burping the other.  I would sometimes blink fully awake and look up to find a perfect tiny little head against his bare chest. And I would smile.
And it would warm me down to my toes.

Graham and Loretta's arrival

"If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?"

That was the question I posed to Dean from my perch on the birthing ball.
We were in a labor and delivery room of our hospital, and I was getting sick of waiting for the full dose of antibiotics to drip into my system so I could get on with my induction.  I was looking for distraction.

The question was the wrong one to ask though.  We each knew the other didn't want to be anywhere else but there.  We were both ready to meet our twins.

And I was ready.  I had gotten over my fear and reluctance of being induced (call me chicken if you want, but I like familiar. Inductions were not familiar. Actually, come to think of it, neither were twins).

Regardless, I showed up at the hospital on Friday morning ready for pit, and whatever the drug would bring.
Except it took foreeevvveeerr to get the IV into my narrow veins.  And forever for the antibiotic to run (they were worried that I would have the babies before they could get the full 4-hour dose in, so they 'paused' the induction - which was just an ineffective gel at that point - to finish the penicillin).

I told Dean at one point that "being induced is for the birds!  It's such slow going!"

At 1:00 they finally started the pitocin drip.
At 2:00 I told the nurse "I got this. This is easy," as I rocked my way through contractions on the exercise ball.
At 2:30 I told Dean "two more hours" (I'm getting pretty good at guessing arrival times of my babies)!
At 3:00 I asked the nurse if she could "bump up my pit".
At 3:30 the Dr. broke my water (what a relief!) to intensify labor.
At 4:00 I was wheeled into the operating room (protocol, despite my natural labor).
At 4:20 my Dr. said "Whenever you're ready. Bear down whenever you feel you're ready".
And at 4:30 I was listening to two babies cry.

At that moment, I was utterly and completely exhausted!
But filled with the most peaceful happiness too.
My babies were here, healthy and whole!

Graham Reid arrived, wide-eyed, at 4:26 pm weighing 6 lbs 14 oz and measuring 19 1/2 inches tall.
Loretta Irene arrived, already exercising her lungs, at 4:29 pm with the exact same weight and height as her brother!

Throughout my two night stay in the hospital I got lots of congratulations.  Most of my nurses would enter my room for the first time and say something like "I hear you are a rockstar!"

But no, I am not a rockstar.  

I am a mom.  

A mom of seven.  

A mom of twins!

And it's pretty darn awesome!

The sweet welcome we drove home to.

They are so perfect!

We couldn't feel more blessed!

Oh yeah, they're here! The twins!

You know...I thought I'd try.
Try get a blog post about the arrival of our twins up.

But Loretta just let out a holler from the bedroom, and Graham is starting to fuss in the swing.
Oh, right, that's what we named them.  Loretta Irene and Graham Reid.  Born three minutes apart on June 27th weighing in at the exact same 6 lbs 14 oz.  These two are in sync!  So much so that if I take Graham out of the crib at night to feed him, Loretta senses he is gone and wakes up too.
Then I have two crying babies and only two hands with which to work.

Yes, the nights are sometimes crazy. And so are the days, actually.

Day five went something like this (thank goodness my hubby took a week off work)...

Struggle to get Loretta latched on (yes, I am breastfeeding both babies. Yes, I sometimes wonder if I am crazy, or will go crazy, for making that decision). Finally relax and feed Loretta.  Graham starts to cry and root around as she is finishing up.  Hand Loretta off to Dad to be burped, and feed Graham.  Loretta wants to eat again while I am burping Graham.  He loads his diaper, so I hand him off to Dad to be changed and feed Loretta once again. Graham comes back hungrier than ever now that he has room in his stomache.  Dad is pacing and bouncing Loretta, trying to stretch a few more minutes in until Graham is satisfied.

Repeat the above several times.

My sleep deprived brain is producing thoughts such as these:
Wait, did I miss lunch??
It would really be nice to take a shower today.
They are soo stinkin' cute!
Did I just take my vitamins, or was that yesterday?
No need to hold my bread while I butter it hon, I got this one handed stuff down pat.
I have been sitting in this same chair ALL day long! I need a breath of fresh air!
I just love newborn soft skin. And Loretta's hair!
I am starving.
Who the heck boils their breast pump parts for 10 minutes after every use?!?
Help! I am drowning in milk over here!      
My.
Own.
Milk!

So I apologize for not getting a real announcement with photos and a story posted here for you. It's coming, I promise. In the meantime, refer to the instagram side bar to the right for all kinds of adorable cuteness.

I'll be back once I figure out how to keep my head above milk...er water.

And so I wait

Words elude me.
Or perhaps they simply all seem trivial, inconsequential.
Goodness, I've deleted enough of them here in the past few months as I've tried to write a blog post.

It's a strange thing, not being able to write, when I feel so much.
No it's not the heartburn or the exhaustion or the discomfort I want to write about.  I don't want to complain.

It's the heart-wrenching things: the excitement, the longing, the anticipation, the nervousness, and the fierce love that I've been feeling.

I think it's a given that I already love these two beings. I've carried them for 35 weeks.
I think it's also a given that I'm nervous.
Did you know that it's standard procedure (here anyway) for a twin delivery to take place in the operating room surrounded by some 12 or something people?  Even if you are having a natural, vaginal delivery.
Yes, nerve-wracking.

And yet, I am so excited to experience this labor and birth because it means I am going to get to finally hold my babies and feel their skin on mine. I will get to hear their cries, and get to soothe them and cradle them.

I am looking forward to that sweet, sweet moment.

And so I try to practice patience.
I could have one week until I meet my little loves.  Or I could have five.

I simply wait.
For the moment when I can welcome them into our world.
Perhaps then the words will come.

our world

Well hello there!  It's been awhile since I've visited blog land.

First off, I feel like I have to talk about the twins.  

I have done nothing about Dean's suggestion to document my growing belly each week.  Except snap one more distorted, half body cell phone pic around 26 weeks.  It's not worth sharing.  If you would like a comparison though, at 28 weeks I measured 36 weeks pregnant.  :)

But I am feeling good!  Wait, perhaps I am lying if I consider the last time I've posted.  This week, I am feeling good.  I am doubtful you want boring details of the last couple months.  Lets just say that I know what you feel like if you have pregnancy anemia or even tachycardia.  Not good. And it's not fun.  I have never felt so drained and weak in my life.

Despite that, the twins are growing well. Good thing they take everything first, and leave me any leftovers.  At almost 29 weeks, I was surprised to learn that they measured 3lbs 3oz and 3lbs 2oz (they're getting big)!  Everyone at the office assured me that it was great news that they are growing at the same rate. 

And as is usual with me, having an ultrasound makes me think about these babies as real little beings that will join our world soon.  Which pushes me to consider names (the day after every ultrasound you will usually find me listing names and/or perusing baby name sites).  And over the last couple weeks, I have thought of my babies by name, sounding them out in my mind, trying them together and separately, seeing if they take root or not.

Oh! The joy and content I will feel when I can finally welcome them into our bright world, hold them and whisper their names against their soft, sweet smelling skin!  

But I am not ready.  Not ready for twins to join our family yet. I am only about 30 weeks along.

I know it has little to do with me, and everything to do with them, but my room needs to be spring cleaned. We need to put flooring in our bathroom and hang doors.  I need to wash sheets and set up the cradle. Sort clothes and place them in drawers. Wash car seat covers. Buy diapers!

And the list goes on.

And we, of course, went off camping this past weekend instead of ticking one little thing off our list.

I knew this would be our last chance to go for a good year or more.  So we hooked up the tent trailer and went.

It was such a fun and relaxing trip that I voiced going again next month.  Dean quickly nixed that idea! 

He is more realistic than I.

And so I cherish the memories and let my mind wander:  

To the sight of my children playing with their cousins in the woods.

To napping in the warm sunshine, lulled by the sounds of the creek and the birds.

To the taste of roasted apple slices dipped in cinnamon and brown sugar.

To our family conversations (and jokes) once tucked in bed in the dark of night.

To watching my youngest two eagerly unzip the canvas windows first thing in the morning 

          to see what kind of sunny world awaited them outside that day.

A gift for a friend, a gift for myself

I had thought I was burnt out on quilting, that I no longer had any desire to piece together scraps of fabric.  Even though I've used my sewing machine plenty, it's been a couple years since I've made a quilt.

But I have a dear friend expecting her first baby. I needed a special gift... and a homemade quilt is the answer (in my book anyway).  So away to the fabric store I went.

And I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of making this quilt!

Isn't it fun?!

It makes me want to get back to my fabric stash and the sewing machine and whip up a couple more.  I think I could put two quilts to good use soon. :)

This quilt did not feel like work.
It was a joy to make.
And that is a gift I gave myself.