Thursday, June 5, 2014

And so I wait

Words elude me.
Or perhaps they simply all seem trivial, inconsequential.
Goodness, I've deleted enough of them here in the past few months as I've tried to write a blog post.

It's a strange thing, not being able to write, when I feel so much.
No it's not the heartburn or the exhaustion or the discomfort I want to write about.  I don't want to complain.

It's the heart-wrenching things: the excitement, the longing, the anticipation, the nervousness, and the fierce love that I've been feeling.

I think it's a given that I already love these two beings. I've carried them for 35 weeks.
I think it's also a given that I'm nervous.
Did you know that it's standard procedure (here anyway) for a twin delivery to take place in the operating room surrounded by some 12 or something people?  Even if you are having a natural, vaginal delivery.
Yes, nerve-wracking.

And yet, I am so excited to experience this labor and birth because it means I am going to get to finally hold my babies and feel their skin on mine. I will get to hear their cries, and get to soothe them and cradle them.

I am looking forward to that sweet, sweet moment.

And so I try to practice patience.
I could have one week until I meet my little loves.  Or I could have five.

I simply wait.
For the moment when I can welcome them into our world.
Perhaps then the words will come.

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