Oh Babies!

I want the twins to stay 9 months old forever.  They have the sweetest, fullest cheeks, the most adorable little giggles, and the cutest babble.  They both have this thing with fake laughing.  If you get them going, pretty soon it turns into real laughter. Cutest thing ever!

I think all moms feel this way at some point. Or three.
I, for one, feel like I'm a little less sleep deprived now (it only took 9 months!) and able to really enjoy them.
It's not that I don't want them to ever grow up, it's just that I want to freeze time and savor this moment because I know how fleeting it is.

With five other children, I especially appreciate the babies.  They have an innocence that is so refreshing.  It's not that I have naughty or terrible older children. On the contrary, I think they're pretty great kids. It's just that raising children involves all kinds of tough decisions and hard moments.  But the babies? Oh, the babies! They smile and hold out their arms for you and love you no matter how often you mess up.  They look up to you for every single need they have, yes, but their sweetness pays for it tenfold.  It's an incredibly fulfilling job.

With babies, every day is fresh and full of potential for learning and exploring.
They don't remember yesterday and it's hardships.  They simply enjoy the present.

They teach me what unconditional love is.  They teach me how to live for the moment.
Every toothless grin and each little cuddle and every single giggle they give makes my heart sing.
I get to be their mama!  I'm so lucky and so blessed to be their mom!

No, I don't really think I'm lucky.

Last week, I took Aubrey out of school early to come get her hair cut with me.  I thought it would be a fun mom-and-daughter date, and I was right.  I was able to soak her in and give her my undivided attention the whole time we were out and about, which she loved.

While I was sitting in the salon, wrapped in a black cape and answering the usual questions of 'how many kids do you have', 'are you going to have any more', and 'do you stay home', I got a comment that I've heard a couple times before: "you are so lucky to get to stay home with your kids!"

I've been thinking about that.  

Yes, I am 'lucky' if you like that term.  I feel very fortunate and blessed to have a hard working husband who can provide for us, as well as a partner that fully supports me as a stay-at-home mom. I saw a sign in a friend's house recently that read "Begin each day with a grateful heart".  I love that! So yes, I am very grateful I get to be the one to raise my kids.  With seven beautiful children, I have so much to be thankful for each and every day.

But... At the same time, I am not 'lucky' to be a stay-at-home mom. It takes work. It was our (Dean's and my) choice; a choice that took, and still takes, sacrifices on our part to make happen. 

We make our kids our priority. 

That means we don't have as much money to spend on holidays, birthday parties, and vacations.  It means that we live in a modest small home and drive older cars.  It means that our kids wear hand-me-downs and that our scarred furniture continues to serve us well.  It means that I wear old and faded jeans rather than the latest fashions. It means my days are filled with oft mundane tasks of laundry, sweeping, and mopping.

But more importantly, it means that I get to be the one to kiss owies and welcome the kids home from school!  I get to watch the baby take his first steps and I get to read stories to the kids!  I get to choose how to discipline and I get to instill the values we find important.  I get to reap the rewards of raising our children!

And I love it!  Like I told the hairstylist, it's exactly what I want to be doing.

Lucky or not, I made a choice, and it continues to be a choice that I find worth the sacrifices

Because I have to include a picture. 

And because I photograph these kids the least 

since it's their teachers and not me that gets to enjoy them during the week day.

pulling out my camera

Whenever I'm having a hard time finding the joy in mothering my brood (and let's be honest, mothering the twins), I pull out my camera.

For some reason, viewing snapshots of my daily life makes me realize just how fortunate I am.

 I mean seriously!  Look. at. these. two.

Are they not the cutest things ever?!
Are cameras not the best piece of equipment a parent can own?!

50:52 Tradition

One of the funnest things about being a parent is the opportunity to continue your childhood traditions with your own family.

Growing up, one of my favorite holiday activities was decorating sugar cookies.  And we actually decorated them every Easter.  They were egg shaped cookies, and the decorating possibilities seemed endless to me...stripes, polka dots, zigzags, initials.  It was a great way to foster our artistic creativity.

While I whip up a batch of these cookies only occasionally for Easter, I always do them at Christmas.

 50:52 Tradition

It's one of the kids' favorite activities and it keeps them entertained for a whole hour or more.  Some of these cookies get wrapped up and make their way to the kids' school and music teachers.  The rest we share with family at our Christmas gatherings.

Elaina (2 years old) took her job very seriously.  Every now and then she would holler out "I need red!" or "here mom, you need green!" (she has no idea what her colors are yet).  She was especially serious when it came to sprinkles.  She went to town.  I wish I would have gotten a picture of her six cookies.  They each had a small mound of frosting in the middle, then a mountain of green sprinkles. :)

I've been thinking about traditions a lot lately.  I think they are important.  They foster a closeness among family members and create a sense of belonging.  I've thought about what traditions we have as a family, and most of them are carried over from either mine or Dean's childhood.  While that is good, I want to start creating some that are our very own.

One tradition that I'm excited to continue this year and every Christmas from here on out, is caroling.  Our little family bundles up and makes the round of our culdesac and other neighbors we know, singing our favorite carols.  I love that my kids are old enough for this!  Everyone sings!  Afterward, we come home and drink hot chocolate and decorate gingerbread houses.

And yes, while these traditions are supposed to be fun, I sometimes get lazy as a mom and am tempted to skip the things my kids anticipate.  Excuses of we're too busy, it's a hassle, and there's just no time shouldn't get in the way of my family's traditions. These are the things I know they'll remember of their childhood, just as I have such fond memories of my own childhood cookie decorating days, biscuit bunny making, and waking up to a valentine's day surprise.

What traditions do you and your family keep?

35:52 Our table at mealtime

Ahh, the family table at meal times.
Is yours like mine?

Our table at mealtime is not a lot of things.
It is not...
One: Beautiful.  We often eat off of mismatched dinnerware. And I don't have time to wonder if food tastes better when it's presented well.
Two: Quiet.  Five kids in our house means noise, especially at the table.
Three: Orderly.  I usually forget to grab either the milk, our glasses, an extra fork, or the paper towels. And I have not yet learned the trick to keeping my kids' bottoms on their seats without the use of rope.

But...
our table at mealtimes is a lot of other things.
One: Beautiful. We are all together.  And that is more beautiful than anything I could set the table with.
Two: Joyous. The noise is a wonderful thing. I hear all about the school day, new friends, and what everyone is looking forward to.
Three: Significant.  The table is our gathering place - where all the beauty, chaos, and joy of our family unfolds.

35:52 The table at mealtime

It's who gathers here that is most important.

Lets see what Leann's table looks like at mealtime.

Pretty Proud of my Little (Signing) Lady

I don't know who gets more excited when Elaina learns a new sign, her or me.

Seriously, I can see the pride in her smile and hear it in her high chair babble.

Because that is where signs have come in the most handy - at mealtimes.

So bear with me here if you've heard all this from me before, because I'm going to do it again.  

Signing is the simplest way to connect with your child, empower them, and reduce frustration.  With my picky eaters, meal time can be a bit of a challenge.  That's why I'm beyond excited that Elaina has learned two new food signs.  Actually, that's not why I'm excited.  I simply adore her and believe she's a clever little thing.  I'm quite proud of her!  You'll forgive me for my short moment of bragging, won't you?

In case you're interested, the sign for strawberry is made by making the "f" sign (for fruit), placing the pinched 

thumb and pointer finger on the corner of your mouth, and twisting the sign back and forth.

Banana is signed by holding up the pointer finger of one hand and doing a peeling motion 

with the thumb and pointer of the other hand. 

She can already sign "eat", "more", and "drink" but getting into the nitty gritty of what she'd like is pretty exciting stuff!  We've been in a kind of signing lull, and now I'm hoping this success will keep us energized to learn more.

I encourage any of you with little ones to try signing!  Just try it!

Setting Limits

Two things.

First, I welcomed Connor home from camp this evening. He was a few shades browner than when he left home, but came in with a grin on his face and a bounce in his step.
I missed that kid these last four days. But I knew what a special time camp can be and I was so glad he could be there, especially after his return and hearing a little bit about the fun he had. We had a busy evening, and I didn't get any specifics yet, like was he warm enough? and what was his favorite part of camp? but we'll get there.

Second, I am in the middle of a great book, slightly old but helpful nevertheless, called Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child by Robert J. MacKenzie (I highly recommend this book to any parent by the way, not just parents of a stubborn child). It really makes me think about what exactly I am teaching my kids.

I've always thought it counterproductive to holler at your kids to stop hollering, but have probably done it myself, and believe that many parents do not have any idea they are teaching their child the wrong lesson.
"When your words are consistent with your action, your child will begin to tune in to your words and take them seriously" (from MacKenzie's book).

As I've shared before, my middle child is a challenge.
But I've learned a lot of things, especially after starting reading this book.

I've learned that there is nothing wrong with my strong-willed child. There is nothing wrong with me either. The problem lies in matching my parenting methods with my child's temperament. I have a persistent, sensitive, and analytical boy that resists change and tests every boundary multiple times. Basically, he is strong-willed; and raising him is a lot more work than raising my compliant, oldest child.

To quote MacKenzie "children are concrete learners. What they see, hear, touch, and feel determines how they think things really are. Children believe what they experience more than what they are told".

What exactly am I teaching my kids? Am I inadvertently teaching them they can ignore my requests because that is what I let them do? Am I teaching them to holler when they get frustrated and angry?
Am I demonstrating patience and unconditional love?

If only we parents would realize that our words have to match up with our actions, otherwise the words are not even heard! If only every parent would strive to understand their child! If only we would all discipline out of love and respect!

Play-Doh filled stress relievers

Do you ever have mornings you wish you could just start over?  Or better yet, that you wish your kids ould start over? 

It seems we are having a lot of those lately, caused by late nights, yes, but mornings we have to get through none the less.

With my very stubborn and sometimes quite difficult boys, I am constantly asking myself three questions when they are having a meltdown - are they hungry? are they tired? do they need positive attention from me?

I'm finding that almost always, the answer to one of those questions is "yes!"

While that may help prevent a meltdown, it does nothing to help us get through a meltdown.

Enter Pinterest (gosh, but isn't that site the greatest?)

I have no link to share sorry because I didn't actually pin it. 

We now own a set of Play-Doh filled balloon stress balls.

the cute faces, drawn on with permanent marker, eventually rub off. Darn!

Some live in my purse (for those errand running meltdowns) and some live on the fridge.

They are the perfect size for little hands and are also great boredom busters for travelling and waiting rooms.

 

I'm hoping they can help us through some rough mornings and other tense moments. Because lets face it, as a mother of five, its not always possible to attend to the needy at the exact moment they need it.

Wide Awake at 3 AM

I have thought of a great idea for an alarm clock - the sound of a child hurling.

There's nothing that gets you out of bed faster.

Yep, my sleep last night was interrupted by those very sounds. I made it to my daughter's bed, wide awake for once, to discover that I had one big mess, and one miserable child. This reminds me of yesterday's post, interview of a domestic engineer. Here exactly is an example of one of the sacrifices mom's make. We strip puked-on bedding, start the washer, rinse and dump puke buckets, bathe a puked-on child, then rinse and dump another bucket - all at 3 AM.  Then, if you're very unlucky, you repeat this 1, 2, maybe 5 times in one night depending on who else in the family gets the virus. Or if you're even more unlucky, you simply repeat this the next two nights and hope against hope that you don't become so run down that you catch the nasty bug too.

That said, I think we all know that this is yet one more inevitable aspect of motherhood that we simply get through and are thankful when finished with.
As I was combing my daughter's wet hair away from her face at 3:25 AM, though, a different thought occurred to me.  There is satisfaction in giving our children the comfort they need.  My daughter wanted Mom because she wasn't feeling good, and I was able to be there. Although my night wasn't pleasant, hers was made better by me just being Mom.

Walking in the footsteps of the Sinagua

Two hundred plus stairs with a three year old is a challenge, but I don't regret our hike one bit.

Sunday morning saw us driving into the parking lot of Walnut Canyon National Monument, then heading through the visitor's center, and to the head of the Island Trail.

As we started our trek and descended the 200 some stairs, it was incredible to realize that we were walking in the footsteps of the Sinagua who lived here more than 700 years ago.

It was also incredible to imagine living in these cliff dwellings.

We marveled that the cliffs were so steep and noted how far the creek bed was from the cliff houses - a very tough hike up with a water bowl on the top of your head. 

We imagined sleeping on the hard dirt floors on animal skins (although Brant thought his own pillow and blanket were a better choice).

We learned that the yucca plant was the most useful to the Natives, the fibers being used for ropes, sandals, mats and many other things.  Aubrey pointed out every yucca plant she saw along the trail.

And being that we were in a canyon, we had to listen to our echoes for a good five minutes. 

I've come to realize that our family hikes are not fast paced. That's okay, though. I love the opportunity to teach our children while out exploring - whether it be to learn some historical fact or to point out some interesting thing or to holler into a canyon. 

Fortunately, I didn't have to carry the three year old up every one of the 200 something stairs.  I didn't even carry him up 20 of them.  Once we started counting, he wanted to step on and count each and every one.

No, I do not regret our little excursion at all.  

It was very entertaining and educational, and I'm all about educational.  

And usually, I'm all about photography opportunities too.

Children and Sign Language

This morning, my baby signed to me that he wanted a bath.  I hate telling him no when he signs.  Every time he uses sign language I try to give him what he wants, because I am so proud that he is communicating with me rather than crying or screaming.

Donovan signing bath

My baby is 16 months old now.  He has been signing for about 3 months.  His first sign was 'eat'.  He has added 'bath', 'all done', 'where?', 'more', and 'airplane' to his signing vocabulary.  
He can say some words: me, baby, mom, truck.  I'm sure the signs will fade away as he learns the verbal word for each of those as well. But even though the signs we use are very basic signs, they have opened up a whole new world of communication that wasn't possible at his early age without them.  

Did you know that infants develop the fine muscles in their hands (gross motor skills at about 6-7 months) before they develop those required for speech(at 18-24 months)? They are equipped to communicate with you before they can talk!

With my children, I didn't start signing until about 10 months or later, but you can start signing to them as early as six months.

Contrary to common belief, babies that sign do not learn to talk any later than non-signing babies. Studies even show that babies who sign, speak earlier than those that don't sign.  

If you use sign language along with verbal speech, the baby is connecting the sign to the spoken word.  None of my children were late talkers, in fact some were early.

I was not interested in a baby that could speak before others, however. I was interested in a baby that could tell me what he wanted/needed thereby reducing frustration on both our parts. 

 When I started signing with my first-born six years ago, I followed Dr. Joseph Garcia's method and book Sign with your Baby.  As the sign2me website states, this book has "clearly-illustrated ASL signs. Filled with anecdotes, practical guidelines, and humor, SIGN with your BABY offers an effective way to teach parents and infants how to communicate through sign. Author Dr. Joseph Garcia helps you recognize when your child is receptive to learning, recommends which signs to teach first, and shares ideas for games that can be fun and useful when introducing new signs. With 145 clearly illustrated ASL signs, this book enables you to choose and teach the signs that will be most beneficial to you and your child. You'll be amazed when your baby signs!"

This book uses signs based on American Sign Language(ASL), and recommends only using ASL signs.  I'm of the opinion, though, that other methods and signs work just fine.

For example, I sign 'where?' to my son using the ASL sign after I hide an animal under one of eight doors on a puzzle.  He responds with the classic 'where' sign of both palms up, shoulders shrugged, and an inquisitive look on his face, then proceeds to look under each door until he finds the animal.  His sign is still valid, because we both understand the sign and he is consistent in using it. He can communicate.

When I sign with my babies, the older children start signing again as well. The kids translate Donovan's needs to me all the time, and sign to him themselves.  
Some pictures from 2006 when Aubrey was the baby communicating by sign:

Signing with your baby takes dedication.  You might sign for two months before your child will sign anything on his own.  But it is definitely worth it! When he/she signs his first sign you will be elated and amazed! Give it a try if you have a little one.  You'll decrease frustration and increase the bond between yourself and your baby.

Some great websites if you are interested: sign2me.com and signingbaby.com.

Christmas Wish Lists and Keeping it Real

This year, I have gotten more questions than last about the whole Santa thing.

"Does Santa really fly, Mom?"
"What does he do if there's no snow?"

"How does he get into our house?"

"Maybe he gets on an airplane to deliver presents to Alaska."

This year, I have stamped and addressed an envelope to Santa Claus, North Pole.

Dean asked Connor if he could see the list before Connor mailed it.  Connor said, "Nope, you have to wait until Christmas to see!" 

Thankfully, he asked me twice how to spell each word and rewrote his letter three times, so I have it memorized. Unfortunately, his list had five items on it, and the gift I've already gotten him is not on his list.

Last year was easy, they talked about what they wanted, and they each got something they had mentioned.  And they were young enough to not be overly influenced by school peers. This year, they've scoured the Walmart and Target toy catalogs for hours and their wish lists have grown. Eeep!  We wish they wouldn't make wish lists.  Then it feels like we have to go out and buy more than we had planned. As parents, its easy for us to want to give our kids everything they wish for. But by giving them everything they want, are we then failing to give them something more important?

I don't want to over-do Christmas.  I don't want our Holiday to be all about the biggest and best toys.

This year, I'd like my kids to really know and believe what Christmas is.
It is hard to teach them when Christmas has become so commercialized.  Don't get me wrong, I love to shop for gifts, put up a tree, and hang a wreath on our front door, just like millions of other Americans.  But the ads make you believe that you have to get your loved one the biggest sparkling diamonds to let her know she's loved, and your kids the latest new toy. The kids in school talk in awe about the new gadgets and electronic toys that they have/need.  Thank goodness we don't have the television to further expand my kids' wish lists and ideas of what the day means.  For many, December means hustle bustle and stress, and January means debt.

This year, we planned on giving each of our kids one larger gift, then a few trinkets for the stockings. That's it.

Or that was our plan anyway, until Connor mailed his letter.  It is hard to see our children disappointed.  I am struggling over what to do about gifts. I feel that this lesson, what Christmas really is, is one of the more important lessons I need to teach my children.  Can they learn this lesson while getting their wishes too?

I want our Christmas to be real.  I want Christmas to be another Thanksgiving - time spent with family being thankful for the blessings we have (that do not include toys) as well as remembering the first Christmas so long ago.  I want Christmas to be about the birth of Jesus, and what that means to us.

How do you keep it real in your household?