Monday, September 19, 2011

Today I brew, tomorrow I bake

My house smells of cooked onion and garlic and chili.  And my freezer is filling up with meals.  

See? I'm making it super easy for Dean. He won't have to wake me up to ask me a thing!
I've got a lasagna, chili, the start to Mexican Curry, and some taco meat into the freezer in hopes that once this baby comes, I do not have to think about dinners for a little while. This afternoon I'm baking muffins and tomorrow I'm cooking and cubing chicken.  

I'm also hoping that once the freezer is full, this baby will feel free to make her grand entrance into our lives.

Clothes washed, diapers bought - not much left to do.
I mean, if I'm all ready, go ahead and make your appearance, little girl.
You know, just in case you feel like taking your mother's preference into consideration when deciding when to join us, I could go for the end of this week. I'm just saying.

Friday, September 16, 2011

I tried hard to find a picture for this post...

but nothing I've taken seemed adequate enough. 

I'm heading to another one-on-one signing class this afternoon.  I love these one-on-one sessions.  I get to know the parents so much better, get to customize my lesson to fit their unique situation or needs.  Oh, I'm not a perfect teacher by far, I still have much to learn.  But... I love meeting these people from different walks of life - the parents of an adopted child, the same sex couple, the mixed cultures - all of them with this common thread, this desire to raise and teach their children in the best way they know how.  For one hour of the week, I am fascinated by people and their relationships.  

Then I come home to my rambunctious, noisy, demanding little family.  
It feels good to be needed.  To know that I am Mom, and that I am irreplaceable.

I meet my husband's eye over the heads of two fighting toddlers with a hopeless expression.  We smile at our son's progress and distracted air while reading aloud.  I sigh in my mind at the end of the dinner hour, and my husband silently heads to the sink and cleans up the mess.  His hand finds my lower back or shoulder and offers a supportive squeeze amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday family life.

This man who means so much to me - he is the one I invariably think of after thinking of all the different people I get to meet in my classes and wondering at their relationships, their lifestyles. After whirling thoughts that I cannot put into order, I think of my husband and the steady source of comfort and support that he is.  I cannot even explain our relationship very well.  I only know that he is there. I would be groundless without him.

I think of how monotonous life can become, how ordinary our everyday interactions.  
How many days have I let go by without touching those I love?  How many hours without stopping to hug a child, to tell them "I love you?"  How many weeks and months without carving out time to spend with just my spouse?  How long since I've cooked his favorite meal or baked his favorite dessert?

I came across a short, but beautifully written piece this morning, called The Bravest & Most Beautiful Affair by Ann Voskamp. I have never read this blog before, and do not know if it something I will go back to read again, but the post touched me.  I read it over three times.  So true - some of her words on the relationship and commitment between spouses; of the love.

"the bravest love is wildly faithful and it falls hard again every morning. How it puts the toilet seat down and the cap on the toothpaste and winks for those already-won eyes. It knows what we seek may be found in what we already have."

What I already have. I have so much.  There is so much beauty in my life.  I just have to open my eyes and appreciate it and them.

And these are the end of my overly hormonal and emotional thoughts this morning.  I will forget that I have hesitantly shared and I will carry on with my daily routine; and I will hopefully squeeze in a few meaningful shared moments with those I love.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Falling Into Place

Have you ever realized that, sometimes, things just fall into place?  We can stress and we can plan and we can worry, but no amount of worrying or planning can change what is meant to be.
I am amazed and I am humbled at how this has been the case for us.

The last time I was on here, we had just found out we had to move out of our rental.  I believe that was the beginning of August.  My first reaction to that news was 'you've got to be kidding me!'  I mean, moving weeks before my due date wasn't a part of my plan!

Well, even if I don't like it, the only thing constant in life is change.

So I forgot about plan A, which equated to comfortably continuing on with what was routine and familiar, and I started thinking about plan B - finding another rental. Meanwhile, my husband thought about plan C - taking advantage of the current low interest rates on home loans.

Fast forward a few weeks to the beginning of September; we are handed the keys to our house about one month after being informed we have to leave the rental!
Whoa! Yes, that was fast. Yes, that was one stressful, whirlwind of a month.

But I am happy to say that we are all unpacked and the kids are happy and doing well at their new school (which, thankfully, I enrolled them at a few weeks ago). Plus there is a lot that I love about our home.  And yes, it is slowly beginning to feel more and more like home.
My kids love the huge marble tub in their bathroom and the fact that they can now play in the front yard as we are on a cul-de-sac. I love the open feel to the home, even though it is only a three bedroom.
I love the view I have while working in the kitchen.

I love the back yard.
And I love making plans for the home with my hubby.
Since dreams are free, we are doing plenty of dreaming!
Wouldn't this workshop make a cute little guest house?

We are planning on putting a sauna out there too.  When we build an addition (because really, two kids' rooms just isn't going to cut it) I am finally going to have a laundry room worthy of a family, and the main bathroom is definitely going to gain a double sink and plenty more space. Oh yeah, and I can't wait to have a mud room of sorts, a place to dump backpacks and coats and shoes without creating more trip hazards.

In other words, now that we own again, our project list is huge. But all these things will make it feel more like our home.  Never mind that the list will continually grow, or that it will take years to do everything we want.  There's something concrete about making the plans, about establishing ourselves here and working to make this a home we can comfortably raise a family in. Our plans and dreams create a satisfying feeling of permanence, of being settled.  Which reminds me, two of our neighbors have already come over with gifts saying how excited they are to have us, a family, here in the neighborhood. How cool is that? I don't know what's more welcoming than a plate of fresh, homemade chocolate chip cookies.

All our dreams and plans aside, there are some things that need our attention now, rather than later.
The floor is one of them. While original carpeting may be livable for a while even if it is ugly, it turns out that the previous owners had four indoor cats.  My husband is allergic to cats. When I ran a humidifier for the kids' colds, I discovered that the cats didn't necessarily make it outdoors to urinate either.  Yuck!!

So our house currently does not look anything like a cozy home.  At least not the living room with its concrete floors and glue lines.

Consider this a "during" picture, since I neglected to snap a photo for you of the lovely brown carpet and heavy rubber lined drapes complete with a sheer lace layer and balloon valances before they all went out to the dumpster.
(I like my homemade end tables in this living room even more than the last. Too bad I haven't been able to get around to my other furniture plans, but hey, now I have a heated workshop to build them in!)

I'm sure my "after" picture will be a while coming, as it is difficult to do much with a newborn.
Not to mention deal with the upheaval of emptying rooms to put in new flooring and carpet.
Lets see, I have less than two weeks till my due date.  Should I hope for an overdue babes so we can get it all done before I'm stuck in the recliner??

I'm just kidding.
I think.

All kidding aside, I am feeling truly blessed.
And, as hard as it is at 38 weeks pregnant and nesting, I'm working at not planning and stressing and worrying this little one into the world and the flooring into place.
Everything in it's own time.